Get My Boyfriend Back

We all make mistakes – this is obvious and hardly anyone will argue it. But we’re able to learn on our mistakes and mistakes of other people – this is a certain fact too. Currently you’re feeling depressed and totally desperate about your breakup, but your actions are far from being efficient. In this article I’m going to share with you some secrets of how to get over breakup more easier by avoiding the common (and brutal I might add) faults that almost every man and woman make trying to reconcile with their ex after the breakup.

The First Mistake is: begging and trying to make your ex feel sorry for you.

First of all, let’s clarify the obvious thing: nobody, I repeat – nobody, is attracted to needy and insecure people. So, if you want to attract your ex again, it’s far better to stop this useless strategy and pick another one, more interesting, original and efficient.

So stop contacting your ex for now: phone calls, text messages, voice mail, email etc. This will only reinforce their decision of leaving you and staying away from you. It will probably make them angry, irritated and annoyed – and this is a bad thing for us! Begging and pleading your ex to get back at you may only demean you in their eyes, so they will start almost hating you for this. So don’t give them additional reason to go further away from you. At this point you need to maintain your dignity. You will certainly not do this by beseeching them. So change your course of action as fast as you can, otherwise you will ruin your chances of successful reconciliation.

Second Fatal Mistake: using drugs and alcohol as temporary cure for your pain.

I can tell you tat I used this method myself many times in the past and the truth is… It didn’t make me happy. At all…. Actually these things actually make things much, much worse. Drinking may help you to relax a little bit, but a depressant like alcohol will only make your burden feel even more heave… After you woke up next morning.

More than that, alcohol can lead to drunk dialing – and this is a killer of your relationships, it will repel them from you… Forever! Trust me at this point. So choose other methods to handle your emotions, more healthy and effective in long-term, not only as temporary relief.

Third Dangerous Pitfall you can fall into: being heavily insulted by the very fact of the break-up.

If you want to stop your breakup fast and easily, I strongly ask you to understand this simple fact: although your pride was possibly damaged, it will only result in a stand-off if you continue to convince yourself of “how bad and guilty” they are and use it as an excuse for continuity of procrastination. Create a plan, stop your depression and start consistent action toward getting over the breakup – this is the only way out.

I sincerely hope that understanding these mistakes and carefully avoiding them along your way to successful reconciliation will go a long way in your happiness and healthy long-lasting relationships after you get your ex back. Good luck!

Still frustrated? Still think that your situation is totally impossible to recover? Want to get over the break up as soon as possible – maybe TODAY
even?

Well, there IS a hope – and a good chance of reconciliation for you!
Click here to learn more…

… and get over this painful break up TODAY!

Rooting for ya,

Laura Thompson.

I feel really down over breakup with girlfriend and can’t understand why?

Hey, we’d been only going out for 3 weeks and before that i liked her and found out she liked me so i asked her out. she felt comfortable with me like in hugging, holding hands, kissing and also like we connected. i took her out on dates to restaurants and that. She broke up with me two days after this as she said she felt she wasn’t ready for the relationship. She said she was confused over her feelings for me too. she also said she didnt want to break up with me as she’d probably regret it and she said she was upset when she told me she wanted to break up.

We talked online and i knew that she had been really hurt in her past relationships and she said i was her only boyfriend that treated her right and i was her best ever looking boyfriend, that she trusted me and could tell me anything. i said i would be there for her whenever she needs me as a friend as her past relationships, her boyfriends never spoke to her or kept contact.

when we were talking she did doubt herself saying that “i deserve someone better” and i said “there is nobody better than you”. i keep complimenting her saying she’s an amazing girl and i’ll be there for you and if she ever wanted to work on the relationship i’d be there. and she said if she ever got her feelings back for me, we’d give it another go and she said it would be pointless as i would already have a new girlfriend by that stage. in one of the online conversations she explained to me her past relationships as i said if she felt she wanted too when i asked. she said to me “your a decent lad you know “.

She was also awkward around me in college in this student area, like she would talk for around a minute or two and then she’ll go off and say she’s just gonna talk to her friends and come back when she doesnt …..on her bebo she was talking to a friend about that she was sad over the breakup and said (which i think she was basing this on how unhappy i felt over the breakup) that “guys think they are in control and usually the ones to do the breaking up”. but i am not unhappy because of that. i’m just upset i am not in a relationship with her.

Her friends said to me i should move on as she isn’t worth it and say “she has had bad past relationships and then she breaks up with a guy like me.” the problem is i can’t move on, and i understand her feelings and want her to be happy but i just can’t stop thinking of her and what could have been sorry for the long details but i am just clueless as to what to do.

please can someone tell me what to do i miss her alot…..
on her bebo she also had this guy in her hockey team as her other half, im not sure..

Answer
Three weeks? How could you possibly have felt anything besides infatuation after just three weeks? Maybe she felt smothered. Just reading what you typed made me want to step outside for some air.

Most girls will run for the hills when a guy gets so heavy and serious right from the start. Half the fun of dating is having the patience to allow the rose to blossom to its full blush before bending over it an inhaling its aroma.

What are you doing relying on her friends for advice? Move on. They have her best interests at heart. If you are still upset you’re not in a relationship with her, then you’re not respecting her choice to decide what’s best for herself.

You have broken up and your heart feels shattered in your chest. You’re eager to stop the breakup, but you don’t know how, or doubt in your ability to do it. You really only have two possible courses of action now: you can pick yourself up and move on with your life, or you can figure out how to stop the breakup and… Just do it!

If you decide to try and win your ex back, then you’ll definitely need to put in some work. Let’s face it, if you want them back, there’s no chance in world that you’ll ever do it if you do nothing.

Think Constructively, Not Destructively

Many people resort to crying, whining, begging and stalking as a means to win back their ex and it rarely works if you want to stop the breakup. They’re not going to suddenly feel sorry for your pathetic self, hold you in arms and whisper that everything is going to be alright.

Want to know how stop your break up today for sure?

Build the trust back, that’s how. Make them remember the good times that you shared, without having to resort to begging. You need to win back the love of your life. However, you need to do this and still respect yourself and your partner. Be the friend again, and build from there. That’s how to win back your ex.

Good news for you. You do not have to spend anything to get them back into your loving arms!

Indeed, getting your lover back only requires your emotional investment, with nary a drop of financial outlays in sight. Here is how:

Instead of wallowing in your misery and trying to make them miserable with your stalking and pleading tactics, you should look into yourself. Admittedly, when we enter relationships, we often give it our “all” that we forget to reserve something for ourselves.

Your break-up is the perfect opportunity to get back what you lost – yourself; when you do, you will discover that the process of how to stop the breakup is easier. Remember, love begins with self-love.

When you are ready to talk with a calm heart and a clear mind, you should make small moves to try to talk to them again. Give it a month or so before you attempt to call again. You need not come bearing gifts when you talk to them – it can backlash against your favor.

You have to bear in mind that just as charity starts in the home, loving others starts in loving yourself. Just do not go to the extreme of narcissistic love lest you find yourself all alone in the world with nobody who loves you but yourself. Stop the breakup today!

The purpose of loving yourself as an important step in the process of how to get your ex back is one of moderation. You will do well to remember that.

Still frustrated? Still think that your situation is totally impossible to recover? Want to stop the break up as soon as possible – maybe TODAY even?

Well, there IS a hope – and a good chance of reconciliation for you! Click here NOW to learn more…

… and get over this painful break up TODAY!

How or what are the best ways to get over a breakup of an relationship?

He and I were in a relationship for 12 1/2 years which as a result leading up to a breakup due to his off and on infidelity in which as a result he has a baby on the way now by another woman. I’m devastated and hurt as a result. He broke up with me even though I still love/hate him now too.

Answer
I know how you feel, me and my girl broke up because she was always doing fishy things. And I know material things aren’t everything but I’ve spent so much time and money into the house, which is hers but we always split the bills, so now its like someone else is gonna be enjoyinbg what I’ve worked for.

To answer your question, Its hard for me everyday, but I just try to keep thinking that I am worth getting treated better then the way she treated me. I know how I loved and cared for her and would never do the things that she did to me. So there just has to be someone else out there for me.

Before I met her I always wondered if I would love anyone, and she came along, so if I’m single its gotta be bound to happen again, right?

Hope I helped or at least let you see that your not the only one that this happens to.

When you have been a relationship with someone for a long period of time and now to deal with the breakup can be devastating to handle. You may feel like the world is coming apart at the seams. You may stop doing things that you once found enjoyable including confidence about yourself. You don’t have to live like that. So long as you put together a plan, you can overcome any issue that keeps you from living the life you want.

There are 5 things to keep in mind to help you deal with the pain after the breakup and get your life back on track.

For starters, keep going on with your life. Don’t stop enjoying the things you used to. You should continue to go out with friends and family, keep having that social life. It helps dealing with your breakup, and it can do 2 things for you: takes your mind off the broken heart and get the attention of your ex.

Second, don’t turn to drugs or alcohol to cope. If you do, the chances of you ruining any opportunity for reconciliation could be ruined by an overnight phone call of pain and misery to your ex.

Third, break the contact off for a period of time, typically a month will do. After all, missing one another can heal wounds of a broken heart.

Fourth, devise a plan you intend to keep. Be sure to listen to the best part of your thinking ability… your mind. Your heart is ruled more by feelings and emotions at this fragile state. When you listen to it, you may ruin any chance of getting your ex back.

Fifth, keep in mind that there is always a chance you won’t win them back or you won’t want them back. People do grow apart and time away from each other can make you realize this. Sometimes, a relationship wasn’t meant to be.

Understand this isn’t the end all to be all in fixing a broken relationship but it is a start if you have to deal with a breakup pain. Have a life worth living; these 5 tips can help you out.

Teecee Go writes articles focusing on love, romance and save relationship helping people get back with their ex. Get the best information you need on get over your breakup pain You can get your love back using the unconventional method, the fact is thousands have benefitted by visiting TheMagicOfMakingUp.com

How long does it take to get over a breakup?

I’ve been friends with this girl for about 6 months now. She decided she wanted to go on a few dates with me. Well she later tells me that she’s sorry and is falling for her old ex boy friend again. I’m fully aware I turned out to be the rebound guy for her, I know us dating wasn’t serious and we still hang out but I still have that depressing sadness sometimes. I’ve had it for about a week. I didn’t know if anyone could guess how long it might take to shake off this feeling.

Answer
i feel ur pan bro its not something that goes away fast it took me months

Getting over a breakup is not easy for anyone! When you have been in a relationship for months or years and one day it all ends, it certainly is not easy. Listening to the love songs on the radio becomes so painful that it makes you cry. You don’t feel like eating, no matter how good the food is. That’s when you ask yourself “what are the best ways to get over a breakup”, so you can move on and be happy again.

Yes, there are best ways to get over a breakup. The most common way would be to start hanging out with the buddies. You don’t have to immediately get in a relationship with another person. You have just been badly hurt in one relationship, you can’t do it so soon. You should just be single and make the most of it with your friends, like on the days when you had no boyfriend or girlfriend. Go to the movies, go for pics, have fun!

Overcoming a breakup on your own is only going to be harder if you lock yourself in your room and keep thinking about what went wrong in your relationship. You should go out and keep yourself busy instead. You will find love again, maybe not soon, but you will, so don’t lose hope.

Another thing that someone will usually say when trying to get over a break up is “help me let go of ex”. Does getting over a broken relationship necessarily mean you have to let go of the ex? Can’t you mend the relationship and be back with the person you are still in love with?

Best ways to get over a breakup

So many couples have got back together after nasty breakups, why can’t you? You can too, without casting any magic spell on your ex!

What are some good love songs to get over a breakup?

Pretty much, I don’t need to get over a breakup.
Actually I just like love songs. =]

Answer
heres a couple….and some great sites…

Git Fresh – Make You Happy
The A’z – Rocketship
The A’z – Phonetap Confessions
Reynard Silva – If I Got U Ft. Janelle
Flo Rida – Sweat Ft. Chris Brown
Drake – Best I Ever Had
Omarion – Comfort Ft. Lil Wayne
Casely – Feel Your Love
Qwote – Fallin 4 U
Jackie Boyz – Gold Dust
Jackie Boyz – Down To Earth
Jackie Boyz – Weather Report
Taio Cruz – She’s Like A Star
Taio Cruz – Moving On…..good song for you….
Chris Brown – Flying Solo
Brandon Hines – Weather
Bobby Valentino – Hands On Me
Bobby Valentino – Only One
Lloyd – Year Of The Lover Remix
Lloyd – Heart Attack
Lloyd – I Need Love
Sam Salter – Run Away
Ryan Leslie – Gibberish…lol…

I have too much…can’t think of them all…but you’ll find alot on here…..

R&B/Hip Hop

http://www.loserboimusic.blogspot.com/

OR

http://www.im1music.net

OR

http://rnb4u.in/download.php

OR

http://www.hotnewhiphop.com/

If you have ever been dumped, you know the toll it can take on your health. You know you will experience the loss for some time before you can even start to bounce back. If you want to get through the breakup pain quicker, then utilize these 3 tips below to put your life on the right track and perhaps get to win back your ex too.

Tip (1) – Remember how you used to talk to one another… anytime, any place. Well, that has to stop, right now. When you cut off contact with each other, both of you have time to work on yourselves. That means you won’t be yelling and screaming at each other, creating a distance further than both of you realize. Hard feelings are inevitable while you are still trying to overcome your breakup pain. How long should this last? A month typically suffices.

Tip (2) – Remain active in your life, both socially and physically. When you stay active, you keep healthy. When you stay social, you are reminded that you do have friends and loved ones who care what happened to you. By doing these two things, you will have an easier time getting over what made you upset in the first place.

Tip (3) – Remember…never let the pain control you, you control the pain. It’s the most important thing you can do for yourself. You don’t want the pain to drag you into a deep depression, which can take you away from everyone you know and love. Keep living your life as you always have been but remember you deserve someone better.

Above are the 3 tips to help you overcome your breakup pain. If you think that this person is not worth your effort and attention you need to move on. However, if you feel getting your ex back is what you want then you should focus on how to work out your relationship and give both a second chance. 

Teecee Go writes articles focusing on love, romance and save relationship helping people get back with their ex. Get the best information you need on getting your ex back You can get your love back using the unconventional method, the fact is thousands have benefitted by visiting TheMagicOfMakingUp.com

Hard-to-get-over breakup…in desperate need of experienced advice?

A few days ago my girlfriend of 4 & 1/2 years and I split up. She told me that the love she had for me had slowly disappeared over the last couple months, but she still loves me as a friend. She wants to be friends and not lose anything, except for the romance. Both of us are going off to college, but don’t let that automatically be the reason. We had an unbelievably perfect relationship through high school…the best of friends, trusting each other with everything. The last 1/2 year has been rough, as we’ve both been stressed out by college preparation, etc. We constantly talked about how much we were meant for each other and nothing would ever get between us. But now we’re split and I’m not sure how to deal with it. She’s also been stressed by volleyball, trying to be perfect and all, so that’s taken a lot of her focus. I just need some advice in general from experienced people. Can I hope to one day get back with her? How do I move on? Do I stay friends? Any help would be great!

Answer
it just might be the stress that’s made you guys grow apart. you can stay friends, but it’s best to give it a rest completely at least for a few months. so if you don’t see or talk to each other for a few months you can actually BE friends instead of confuse the relationship. If she’s made up her mind that she’s not into you (and it’s not just the stress that’s talking), it’s best to respect her wishes. you can tell her that you still like her, and want to be with her…but don’t over-do it, though. just have a talk with her, and have some closure. you’re young and going off to college….you’ll meet SOOO many ppl there. maybe this was a good thing.

If you are really in love with someone, it can be difficult to accept a breakup. You probably want your ex back and would do anything to reclaim that relationship. However, other people, after a breakup, will choose to move on with their lives. No matter which scenario you choose to go with, the following passage can help you get over your breakup fast.

Eliminate All Contact -

No matter if you want your ex back or not, eliminate the chance for contact. Do not call them, e-mail them, visit them or text message them. Staying friends so soon after the breakup can be quite hurtful. Take a step back to calm feelings and nerves. This is a good time to do some healing. Keep all communication away helps too.  The relationship will be less under stress. How long should you take a break from one another? The best time frame is about a month. After this month, you both should be able to see each other without screaming, yelling or bad feelings. If you do want your ex back, you and your ex can talk about it at this time.

What can you do during this break time that is supposed to be used to ease your pain? Actually, there are 4 things you can do to get into a better emotional state. They are:

(1) Try something new. It may seem crazy but get a new hairdo. If you can afford it, buy some clothes. Join a gym or go walking. Do something positive for yourself so you can feel good about yourself afterwards.

(2) Seek out friends and family that care and love you. These folks are perfect in healing a broken heart. Not only can they listen to you, they can also offer you advice. You can’t feel bad when you are around people who care for you.

(3) Remember those things you used to enjoy? Continue doing them or start them again. No matter what it may be… a hobby, some kind of sport, going out to the movies or the clubs. Don’t sit down to watch television. This is so mundane be active and be active with friends too.

(4) Go out with friends to the dating clubs. Even if your goal to get back together with your ex, you don’t have to start a new relationship with someone. The attention alone is a good feeling. You should be flattered with the attention you get.

These 4 things are great diversions and before you know, you’ll be getting over and start to heal your heart. If you want your ex back, devise a plan that helps you achieve that goal. Many people go back into the relationship without a plan and find themselves wondering what to say and not to say. Sometimes common sense just does not work when you are aiming to get your ex back.

Teecee Go writes articles focusing on love, romance and save relationship helping people get back with their ex. Get the best information you need to get over your breakup You can get your love back using the unconventional method, the fact is thousands have benefitted by visiting TheMagicOfMakingUp.com

What is a great song to get over a breakup with?

i need a song that helps you get over a breakup and over a guy… please help!!! thank you.

Answer
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHg5SJYRHA0

“It’s not working out.”

“Maybe we should take a break.”

“I need a little more time to think things through.”

“It’s not you. It’s me.”

Mutual or not, the loss of a relationship — especially one that has lasted more than a year — is a very difficult experience. There will be a lot of emotions to deal with, a lot of tears will fall and weeks of sleepless nights are not uncommon. Whatever the cause of the breakup, the pain of losing someone you hold very dearly will be so strong that it seems it will go on forever.

But the old adage “time heals all wounds” is not without basis. But aside from time, there are some ways to help you get back on track.

1. Cry like a river. Grieving is the first step to healing. Allow yourself to cry. Holding back the tears will only prolong the inevitable. The sooner you release your pent-up emotions, the sooner you will be able to come to terms with them.

2. Avoid him like the plague. As they always say, a habit is never easy to break. Immediately after the breakup, you may find yourself wanting to call him — just to say hello — or meeting up with him for coffee. Let me tell you now. It’s not a good idea. Keep your distance from your ex. Erase his number from your phonebook. Delete his email address in your Outlook address book. Do whatever it takes to prevent yourself from contacting him.

3. Continue with your life. Immediately after the breakup, it would seem perfectly normal to bury yourself in your bedcovers and wallow in self-pity. This is okay but only for a few days. Sooner or later, you need to remind yourself that you need to continue your life, no matter how difficult.

4. Talk about it. Call your closest friends and invite them over. Do a postmortem on the failed relationship. Tell them what happened, as objectively as you could. Having a support person/group will be very helpful during this very difficult time. Talking to another person about the relationship — and getting his/her insight — might just give you the perspective you need.

5. Love the nightlife. Sure, your relationship ended but you still have your friends, don’t you? Give each of them a call and invite them to go out on Friday night. Having an active social life is always one sure way to nurture yourself back to health.

6. Do not be on the rebound. Acknowledge the fact that you are at your most vulnerable right after breaking up with someone. It is not healthy to jump from one relationship to another. Take this time to get to know and love yourself. Do not be afraid to be alone. You can be alone and still be happy.

Breakups are inevitable. You may have to experience a few before you find that one relationship that leads to happy-ever-after. Surviving a breakup is never easy but is not impossible either. All you need, aside from time, is the courage to move on.

Alison Chace is the creator of Wake Up To A Break Up. She is an actress and TV Host, who lives in New York City.

How can I get over a breakup?

Ok, so me and my ex were together for three years, so it is a little painful. I know this is nothing compared to other relationships, but it doesn’t take the pain away. To be truthful, the relationship wasn’t bringing any good. I know in the end only time will heal. But I really want to get over it quickly, I know it will interfere with my attention span in school, so is there any way that I can make the pain go away quicker? Or focus better in school?

Answer
Time only heals. Try keeping yourself busy that’s what I do. I focus on my future and goals more than relationships. I kept thinking about how I wanted to be independent. I said to myself,”since I don’t have a boyfriend now..I can no longer be distracted.” Smile in the mirror if you have to, and see yourself smile. Sometimes it will make you more happy to be thankful on what you have now than what you wish you could have. Remember to smile..it will last for a while

Coping After a Breakup

Figuring out how to go on with your life after a rough breakup can be pretty difficult, which is why I’ve made a short little checklist or tipsheet for you with some bits of advice on what and what not to do right after a breakup.  Hope it helps!

1) Even if you plan to work to get your ex back, move on for the time being.  Experiencing single life again, if even for a short while, is great for figuring out how you really feel.  You may very well still be passionately in love with your ex, or you may find yourself ready to move on for real…either way, it’ll help you decide on what to do in the end.

2) Don’t neglect all the people you have available to you that care about you and want to help you get through this.  Friends, family…we all have a few allies in this, and spending time with them is great for moral support and overall healthy recovery.  Staying socially active with them is also very beneficial…I recommend all kinds of social outings and activities.

3) Restrain yourself from contacting your ex, as much as possible.  Often, impulsive contact is the culprit behind a lot of pretty serious breakup mistakes, and you can actually benefit more from seeing how much effort your ex puts forth in trying to contact you.  Often it can tell you exactly how he feels about you, and whether or not you really still have a chance with him.

There are a lot of tools available to you for coping with a breakup and working on winning your ex back. You can discover some of these tools, and the answers to a lot of questions like “how do I make him return my call?” and “what if he’s in a new relationship?” in the free information and videos you can find.

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Watch a video that shows you exactly what you must NEVER do, what you should do to get your ex back and why at http://www.makingupyourlove.info

You will also learn how to reverse the situation if you have already done those things that should NEVER be done.

Hi, my name is Kane Toh. I am the love making up expert. I would like to assure everyone that nothing is impossible and if you can follow all the tips, methods and strategies in all these articles, you will definitely get your ex lover one day. My email is heloveshisexvmuch@ymail.com

Lookin for a GREAT song to get over breakup? Search for “Love You” by Jack Ingram. HILARIOUS! LMK if like!

Ok, I had been bawling over my jerk ex-husband. Listened to all of the sappy stuff, felt worse. Heard this new song, at a time when I was already getting over ther jerk, and love it. I put it under “relationships” instead of “music” to get target audience. Take a listen! : )

Answer
The best break up song ever that empowers women and men tend to hate it is “I Will Survive” by Gloria Gaynor.

Healing After a Breakup

The time immediately following a rough breakup with the person with whom you thought you’d spend forever, it can be a fragile time. Getting back on your feet can seem impossible at times, but here are some tips for how to make it happen just a little bit easier.

1) Cut contact with your ex entirely after the breakup, for a period of about a month. You may not think it, but doing this actually makes things far easier. When you’re not in each others’ faces, you’ll be able to avoid making things worse and healing will be that much easier. It even has its benefits in the long term towards getting your ex back!

2) Stay active, both physically and socially. Exercise not only keeps you in shape and looking good (further raising your chances of success in getting your ex back) but also provides a great distraction from breakup pain. Social activity is just as important, as the support and confidence boost you’ll get from spending time with family and friends who care about you will make everything in this rough time all the easier.

3) Feel your pain, but don’t let it control you. The tips I’ve already given you are designed to help with this, but it can still be tough to motivate yourself when you feel crippled under the weight of misery and loneliness. It’s perfectly natural to feel pain from this, but letting it pull you down into a slump and then sit on you while you try to climb out is NOT acceptable…at least, not if you want anything good to come of this breakup.

Just break up? Get instant relief from break up pain and a proven plan to get your ex back.

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Watch a video that shows you exactly what you must NEVER do, what you should do to get your ex back and why at http://hubpages.com/hub/howshouldiwoomyexback

You will also learn how to reverse the situation if you have already done those things that should NEVER be done.

Hi, my name is Kane Toh. I am the love making up expert. I would like to assure everyone that nothing is impossible and if you can follow all the tips, methods and strategies in all these articles, you will definitely get your ex lover one day. My email is heloveshisexvmuch@ymail.com

How do I get over a breakup without flocking to my friends?

I am in the process of breaking up with my boyfriend and I am wondering if there is a way I can get over him without going to my friends in pity? I love my friends and all but they don’t do anything but talk about men and how they are playing men and hanging out with them will just make my feelings worse.

What should I do and how do I do it? Thanks for your help!

Answer
It’s totally cliche to say it but it’s the truth – it’s just going to take time. You need to go through the whole emotional process of dealing with how you feel about the breakup which includes being sad about it and angry about it and wishing it were different. This means that you should spend a lot of time taking care of yourself, spoiling yourself a little and doing things that you enjoy doing.

It’s true that being around friends like the ones that you’ve described can be uncomfortable during a breakup. However, it’s also important to keep being around people who love you. You should try to figure out which of your friends are the ones who can really be there for you in a supportive way right now and make plans to do things with them. These may, surprisingly, not be your closest friends but rather people who you don’t always see but can count on in times of need. If you have any slightly older friends who have been kind of like mentors to you, these are the best ones to turn to.

You should also try to force yourself to get busy doing things with new people. You shouldn’t necessarily date right away but joining a local club (a hiking club, a book club) or taking classes (kickboxing, yoga) will allow you to be around people and get your mind off of your ex at least some of the time.

If things stay bad for too long and you’re having trouble getting over the relationship then it wouldn’t be a bad idea to talk to a therapist to work through some of the emotions that go along with breaking up.

This will be the “DUH” moment of the day. If you are in a relationship that has failed then you need to take that as an indication that something went wrong! However that only seems like a stupid statement until you look at it again. Of course something went wrong. Determine what it was and fix it Reclaim this love. The problem rested either with you or your loved one. There are only two of you in this relationship (all right three if you count her boy friend!) and actions by one or both of you have caused this breakup.

Whatever the visual issue was there are really only two reasons this relationship went stale enough to breakup. Either you were too heavily invested, or not sufficiently invested in the relationship. Determine which is the culprit and you have basis for rebuilding the relationship. Not enough of you and your lady would feel abandoned and want to get on with her life with another who would “care”. Too much of you in her daily life and she would feel strangled and captive to your constant demands. Your job. Decide which type of culprit you were in the love life and reverse your methodology! Have the capability of revamping whichever of these evil ways you practice and love is again in your future.

Have you made that decision? Guess what mister? Valentines Day is approaching. Change and then target that date for relationship success! Concentrate on those things in your control that will renew your ladies interest in you. Maybe one or two of the following points are in your fault zone. Recognize yourself? Then get your act together, however be darned sure you really want to reclaim this relationship. If not then most, if not all, of your actions will be transparent and wasted time.

• Jealousy. If you are a proud owner of a jealous streak then there is probably not a desirable relationship in the world that you will have success in. Banish that green eyed monster from your emotional armory and get on with life. If your lady is with you it probably is because (ready for this?) SHE WANTS TO BE WITH YOU! Some personal attribute drew her to you emotionally and physically. So why in the world would you want to banish yourself from her desires by constantly checking up on her and demanding to know the “who; where; and why’s” of her daily life.

• Lovability. This is when you possibly were not invested enough in the relationship. This should not imply that you were ready for a roll in the hay at the drop of a hat (or pair of panties!). Lovability implies that you have an interest in her life and can demonstrate that interest whenever possible. So pull your pants back up and learn empathy for her daily needs. Hugs and kisses are of vast importance, yet meaningless on a long term if the couple cannot share daily stress and desires and REALLY MEAN IT.

• Cheating. There is minimal chance of either you or your lover cheating on each other if you are sufficiently invested in the relationship. If you are glued to that recliner and refuse to nurture the emotional side of your love life guess what? Off to another set of warm arms she will go. Or possibly you cheat on her? When you first became a couple you could probably not have pried the two of you apart with a crow bar. If you ignore her then she will definitely pull away from you emotionally. Then when you are ready for the kisses and hugs your lady will not be around and … off you go for a “quickie” with the lady down the street. Neither scenario is conducive to a long term love relationship.

So if you want your lady back by Valentine’s Day then get busy controlling a few of these traits.  Get a good grip on yourself and you will soon find yourself rolling in romance!

Got your attention? Ready to get back together with your lover? Then check out Renew Your Love or Make Up Magic for great tips and techniques on relationships.

thanks for reading

gordon chandler

How can I get over a breakup?

Ok, so me and my ex were together for three years, so it is a little painful. I know this is nothing compared to other relationships, but it doesn’t take the pain away. To be truthful, the relationship wasn’t bringing any good. I know in the end only time will heal. But I really want to get over it quickly, I know it will interfere with my attention span in school, so is there any way that I can make the pain go away quicker? Or focus better in school?

Answer
Time only heals. Try keeping yourself busy that’s what I do. I focus on my future and goals more than relationships. I kept thinking about how I wanted to be independent. I said to myself,”since I don’t have a boyfriend now..I can no longer be distracted.” Smile in the mirror if you have to, and see yourself smile. Sometimes it will make you more happy to be thankful on what you have now than what you wish you could have. Remember to smile..it will last for a while