Get My Boyfriend Back

Divorce has become far too easy to accept as a normal thing. Our moms always used to say, “If everyone jumps off the bridge are you going to also?”

If you really looked around and took a hard look at what a divorce has done to children, without asking the children’s parents, you would be very reluctant to impact your own child, unless you really had absolutely no choice whatsoever. My belief is divorce has become acceptable because mainstream therapists simply don’t know how to help a married couple remain together. As an excuse, when they hit a tough spot with a couple and don’t know what to do to help them, they come up with some insane comment like, “Perhaps you two just weren’t meant to be together.”

Over 80% of the couples I met with had gone the route of family counseling; most of them were told (after three or four months of wasted time mind you) to get a divorce. They were even given names of mediators and family law specialists (that means lawyers who practice divorce law). Not one couple who came to me failed – after they were told to give up by their counselor. Once they knew what they were doing wrong and what they had to do to change their approach, everything was fine – very quickly. It usually took no more than 20 minutes before the couples I met with were shaking their heads in disbelief about what they had gone through with therapists. They felt cheated, and they were.

Ladies, a family is very important to you. You don’t have to get a divorce and destroy the most important thing in your life. You have the power to save your family. As the heart of the family you see and feel things your husband cannot. I truly understand the frustration you may feel but it isn’t too late. If he wasn’t a good man you never would have married him. But a marriage requires certain behaviors in order for it to grow. If you don’t know these essential behaviors, chances are many of them are being replaced with very destructive ones. Don’t give up; you have too much to gain by learning what’s necessary to make your marriage incredibly happy.

If I set you in a kitchen and gave you every ingredient you could imagine and told you to go ahead and make a scrumptious cake but didn’t give you a recipe (and you never baked a cake before) you might give it a try, but you probably wouldn’t make the best cake. Yet when you got married no one handed you a recipe book or a manual for marriage. But there is one available now and you need to get it rather than getting advice on how to get a divorce.

Even before you order the lessons decide now that you will treat your husband as the love of your life, no matter how offended you feel. I know it is difficult. I help you through this in the lessons; begin your efforts now without waiting for him to reciprocate and you will see a glimmer of hope. Just as it took only one to start hurting your family (not really, though) you can be the one to bring it back together. You don’t need to suffer any longer, but you need to know what to do in order to have a happy marriage.

Do me one little favor, before you go to bed tonight, wherever your husband may be, open up your heart to him and tell him these three little words, “I love you.”

Paul Friedman’s entry into the business of helping couples mend their marriages began with a very rough personal experience with divorce. Paul came out of an early retirement to become a mediator. His belief was that couples could easily work out the details of separation and get on with their lives. He discovered the truth from his clients:they only sought divorce because the help they found to stay together didn’t work.
Read more relationship advice at Lessons For a Happy Marriage.com

If you have been through a divorce what advice can you give somebody that has not done it yet but might?

Answer
The main advice most men could give you could/should be: The grass is definitely not greener on the other side of the fence. Work on your marriage. Talk/communicate with your spouse – no matter how it has to be done. If you divorce now you will regret it later – it may be 1 yr., 5 yrs., or 10 yrs. from now but you will regret it and always wonder what could have been.

Most women would probably tell you: I may be hurt and angry in the beginning but that doesn’t mean I don’t still love you. It’s never too late to work on the marriage – even if you’ve lied, cheated, etc. If you are 100% committed to making it work – so am I. Life can be different, better if you are honest with me and keep lines of communication open. Don’t make it about who’s wrong or right. Let me know what your expectations of me and our relationship are so we can work on them together. If you don’t at least try then we’ll never know what could have been.

If you ask most men or women who have gone out of their way to make their marriage work (even if it’s meant a total lifestyle makeover, compromise, counseling, etc.) they will tell you it was 200% worth it and that they are stronger and happier than they ever thought they could be.